Home
i stumble onto you as you stumble over me   
01:28pm 16/02/2004
  i decided im done with livejournal
gymdeal has been retired already
mr_jim_deal is as good as not existed
and this one will never be how gymdeal use to be
but yeah
i cant keep doing this
there is only so much of this nonsense you cant take
i had my fill

unfortunately you people wont know what is happening in my life
so ill help you out a bit
my girlfriend is beautiful, im staying with her til death
im getting the fuck out of this state in six months
and if i play my cards right youll hear about me again one day


goodbye		  
     
 
no one comments in this anymore...i feel more pathetic than cara   
02:39pm 13/02/2004
  its decided
fuck livejournal for a bit
it does nothing but pisses me off
i write stupid little entries and then say
"OH YEAH...thats so good"
and when i look at it a day later i think im a fuckin moron for writing that down
so im going to take a hiatus from livejournal
and maybe a retirement if i like it enough
goodbye for a bit		  
     Read 8 - Post
 
jim says   
09:36am 13/02/2004
  you treat me like a ragdoll
im still very much inlove with you though		  
     Post
 
trying to stay up....doing pathetic things to keep me awake   
11:44pm 12/02/2004
  .[EMO].
xx.Do you enjoy depressing music? yes
xx.What makes you *sigh*? uhm
xx.How many hours a day, on average, do you spend feeling sorry for yourself? alot
xx.Who or what always brings you down? alot of things
xx.Do you wear glasses? contacts....
xx.What frightens you? ghosts, the ocean, octopi
xx.Do you wear sweaters all the time? i like sweaters but not all the time
xx.How many times has your heart been broken? she'll do it soon id imagine
xx.What do you think of Dashboard Confessional? they are pretty shitty

.[PUNK].
xx.Tell me about that time you broke that law! no
xx.What or who pisses you off? you have the wrong person...i never lose my temper
xx.Sex or drugs or breaking stuff? first you break stuff, then you take drugs and then you have sex
xx.The Clash or The Ramones? the ramones suck and the clash are one of my favourite bands ever...so of course im going to say THE RAMONES!!!!!!
xx.Do you do things that are "bad for your body"? yes
xx.How many times have/were you kicked out of that place? many times...usually i dont do anything that worthy of getting kicked out. i am a victim
xx.Are you in trouble all the time? seems like it with the dean and nicole

.[GOTH].
xx.Do you want to die? poor goths....they are so misunderstood
people think goth is black and wanting to die
xx.What do you think about graveyards? a nice place to be
xx.Do you write poetry often? fuck no
xx.How much black clothing do you own? none at all
xx.What type of makeup do you wear? either pink or black eye make up
xx.What do you think about pain? its cool
xx.Do you cry often? i remember the days when i couldnt cry...how i miss them

.[METAL].
xx.How messy are you in general? im a proud owner of ocd...so not very
xx.Do you bang your head on things repeatedly? i use to
xx.What do you think of mullets? oooh...they are so rockin!
xx.When did you start drinking alchohol? a few years ago
xx.Do you go to concerts often? fuck no
xx.What do you think about violence? its pretty cool
xx.Worship Satan or practice black magic? with all these silly religions out there now, how could you not?


.[GRUNGE].
xx.Are you wearing any clean clothes right now? heh...no
xx.How often do you do the laundry? women do that
xx.Do you wear flannel shirts a lot? fuck no
xx.When was the last time you showered? two hours ago or so
xx.Do you speak clearly? not at all
xx.Are you a lazy person? uh huh
xx.Do you play any instruments? guitar and "clavier"
xx.What do you think about Nirvana? i think they were a band, a good band, but just a band

.[INDIE].
xx.What do you think about conformity? no way man! fuck that shit dude! fight the power!
xx.Why might some people consider you to be an asshole? cause im an asshole
xx.Do you trust others? fuck no
xx.Are you a loyal friend? loyal....no, good....no, bad....no

.[RAP].
xx.Do you live in the ghetto? oh fuck yes i do
xx.Have you ever even held a gun before? one of those pussy riffle deals, sure it shot bullets...but pussy bullets that wouldnt kill
xx.How much bling do you own? i have a pretty nice homemade(with love)braclet and a cool chain with a heart button on it
xx.Would you rather have your best friend be a wangsta or a wigga? christ...no
xx.Would you rather be bustin' caps or rollin' joints? ooh cap guns! we can play after we get stoned
xx."Fo' Sho" or "Yeah, son"? i prefer "hell yeahz, nigga"
xx.What race are most of your friends? i suppose...sigh...white, but i have miniority friends so dont you say anything about me
xx.Ever been to prison? yeah im alive

.[POP].
xx.How much money do you spend on bad music? ha...none
xx.Justin Timberlake or Nick Carter? Nictin Carterlake...ha now there is no choice anymore
xx.How many of your friends still listen to NKOTB? KDFDM?
xx.Do you like mainstream music? hey,its over



ok
im declaring a fuck this on tonite
time to go to bed
nite		  
     Read 1 - Post
 
you have my tomorrow, today and yesterday   
09:53pm 11/02/2004
  i just want to thank you
i havent been this happy since
never i suppose
i have a reason to wake up in the morning
and want to live a bit longer
and actually have a future (that includes you of course)
im really lucky
and id like to thank you for everything
sometimes i really appreciate you when i wish you were here
but yes
thank you ever so much		  
     Post
 
im not good enough   
09:49am 09/02/2004
  i just thought of something
tyler?
what the fuck is wrong with me?
that was like the epitome of pathetic when i dated her
i couldnt stand her
and i hated her and hated being with her
but i stayed with her aslong as possible because i was pathetic
and that was the only time

so now i wonder if i will do that again
if im actually as happy as i should be or am i just getting myself stuck because i like fimilarity

but i really do think im happy this time
im almost completely sure this is what i want for the rest of forever
i just wish i could do more
i wish i could make her not sick anymore
and i wish she could be happy seeing me like i do when i see her
and wish she wasnt the saddest she has ever been before
i wish us being together would make me happy
cause truthfully i can say this is the happiest (least sad) i have ever been		  
     Post
 
lotsa love   
11:35pm 08/02/2004
  im very proud of myself
im omiting people i dislike from my life
the last entry covered alot of ground though
the few people who decided not to be my friends anymore were the ones i wanted gone
if you read that and feel its about you
it probably isnt
but it couldnt hurt to tell me to fuck off		  
     Post
 
burn a hole in yr pocket   
04:11pm 08/02/2004
  i decided to look at my user info and see all the friends i have who i actually like
well not like
but enjoy reading their livejournals
basically...what friends i like via livejournal
there is two
im not going to tell you who those two are because its not you and you know it

im sorry
i dont want you to change yr livejournals
i have no right to tell anyone how to keep a livejournal
but this is how i feel about alot of yrs
some of you try to say shocking things that people are going to gasp at
but you always seem to fail and contradict whatever you say
some of you bitch about problems that dont exist
you act like yr livejournal is a different person
and people cant see you in school eating greasy calzones or whatever they are called
alot of you like list unimportant bullshit
and other people have fuckin livejournal add
example=

we went to the diner. i like the diner.

i love my friend billy. hes a cool friend

i want to see a concert soon. mommy and daddy give me money to see emo bands all the time
but i still hate my parents when i dont get my way.

so many of you talk about yr stupid friends and how much they mean to you
and too many times i find stupid misspellings
like "teh"
you are smart people...so why do you cover that up with stupidity
and finally the over so stupid
recap yr day entries that drive me insane
once again im sorry for being a cynic on something so stupid as livejournal
but yr all idiots
i dont like you
i really dont consider you my friends		  
     Read 6 - Post
 
   
10:04am 05/02/2004
  sure my dad left me in north plainfield last nite with no way of getting home because i drew on my hand and then took my computer away because he abandoned me there
and my mom accused me of doing things i didnt do and called me an asshole when i told dad left me there
but i dont hate them
they arent even bad parents
its not their faults they dont know how to parent well
parenting is not something everyone can do
its a talent
and not everyone can do one talent
but they try
theyre just too stupid to parent
which makes me feel bad

i love my parents		  
     Read 1 - Post
 
isnt anything   
09:41am 03/02/2004
  i decided that i have no talents, no future
and no reasons to live
well i do have alot of reasons to live people would think
but things that people care about really doesnt matter much to me
this life is being lived for you
and yrs is for me
well have a beautiful life together until one of use dies prematurely and the other one of a broken heart
and that will be the end of the tragic and romantic story		  
     Read 2 - Post
 
an ode to you shutting the fuck up   
09:52am 02/02/2004
  fortunate for you that the week on constant song lyrics is now over
many of you bitched to me about it
"oh its so hard to scroll down past three sets of lyrics"
"its so annoying that you wont stop doing this"
"where did the comment button go? i want to leave a comment"

ya know what people who bitched about it
fuck you
i did it for a reason
and this journal happens to be mine
not yrs


lets play trail off
thats when i talk about something until i pick a new subject from my pre existing subject and talk about that and so on and so on
....
why the fuck did i see the cure and the clash having songs on commercials last nite
it was during the superbowl
which im not allowed to say legally unless i put nfl before it
it wasnt even them...they got some stupid band or whatever to cover it for the commercial
i tried my hardest to avoid the celebration of a fuckin game
but the superbowl was on at the diner last nite
atleast i had micheal p and nicole to rant along with me about how awful it is
and the half time show was the worse thing i ever saw
they always seem to get worse every year
random bullshit singers playing theirs hits from years ago
but i heard janet jackson showed her tit
and then i said
"oooooh a tit"
but then i thought about it
first off im sure they arent that nice and if they werent celebrity tits it wouldnt matter
and its not like i dont see breasticles or something
i could see them everyday if i werent gay
and her tits are alot nicer and bigger
speaking of which
i love my girlfriend
everything is great again like when it started
i dont know what happened but that week of hell made me appreciate the good times more
good times?
wasnt that a show in the 70s or something
with the black people and the one guy who said like
hey hey
or dynamite
or get off my money bitch
or yo nigga


this is a waste of a livejournal entry
and thats they way we do it here at iamthevoice.		  
     Read 1 - Post
 
the final song   
12:27pm 01/02/2004
  You and me
Meant to be
Immutable
Impossible
It's destiny
Pure lunacy
Incalculable
Insufferable
But for the last time
You're everything that I want and ask for
You're all that I'd dreamed
Who wouldn't be the one you love
Who wouldn't stand inside yr love
Protected and the lover of
A pure soul and beautiful you
Don't understand
Don't feel me now
I will breathe
For the both of us
Travel the world
Traverse the skies
Your home is here
Within my heart
And for the first time
I feel as though I am reborn
In my mind
Recast as child and mystic sage
Who wouldn't be the one you love
Who wouldn't stand inside yr love
And for the first time
I'm telling you how much I need and bleed for
Yr every move and waking sound
In my time
I'll wrap my wire around yr heart and yr mind
Yr mine forever now
Who wouldn't be the one you love and live for
Who wouldn't stand inside yr love and die for
Who wouldn't be the one you love		  
     
 
song seven   
02:18am 31/01/2004
  Good times for a change
see, the luck I've had
can make a good man
turn bad

So please please please
let me, let me, let me
let me get what I want
this time

Haven't had a dream in a long time
see, the life I've had
can make a good man bad

So for once in my life
let me get what I want
Lord knows it would be the first time
Lord knows it would be the first time		  
     
 
song six of megamix   
09:14am 29/01/2004
  I know we're just like old friends
We just can't pretend
That lovers make amends
We are reasons so unreal
We can't help but feel that something has been lost

But please you know you're just like me
Next time I promise we'll be
Perfect
Perfect
Perfect strangers down the line
Lovers out of time
Memories unwind

So far I still know who you are
But now I wonder who I was...

Angel, you know it's not the end
We'll always be good friends
The letters have been sent on

So please, you always were so free
You'll see, I promise we'll be
Perfect
Perfect strangers when we meet
Strangers on the street
Lovers while we meet

Perfect
You know this has to be
We always we're so free
We promised that we'd be
Perfect		  
     
 
song five of the megamix   
10:12pm 27/01/2004
  "Show me how you do that trick
The one that makes me scream" she said
"The one that makes me laugh" she said
And threw her arms around my neck
"Show me how you do it
And I promise you I promise that
I'll run away with you
I'll run away with you"

Spinning on that dizzy edge
I kissed her face and kissed her head
And dreamed of all the different ways I had
To make her glow
"Why are you so far away?" she said
"Why won't you ever know that I'm in love with you
That I'm in love with you"

You
Soft and only
You
Lost and lonely
You
Strange as angels
Dancing in the deepest oceans
Twisting in the water
You're just like a dream

Daylight licked me into shape
I must have been asleep for days
And moving lips to breathe her name
I opened up my eyes
And found myself alone alone
Alone above a raging sea
That stole the only girl I loved
And drowned her deep inside of me

You
Soft and only
You
Lost and lonely
You
Just like heaven		  
     
 
song four of the megamix   
01:22pm 26/01/2004
  THE SUN IS UP
I'M SO HAPPY I COULD SCREAM
AND THERE'S NOWHERE ELSE IN THE WORLD I'D RATHER BE
THAN HERE WITH YOU
IT'S PERFECT
IT'S ALL I EVER WANTED
I ALMOST CAN'T BELIEVE THAT IT'S FOR REAL

I REALLY DON'T THINK IT GETS ANY BETTER THAN THIS
VANILLA SMILE
AND A GORGEOUS STRAWBERRY KISS
BIRDS SING WE SWING
CLOUDS DRIFT BY AND EVERYTHING IS LIKE A DREAM
IT'S EVERYTHING I WISHED

NEVER GUESSED IT GOT THIS GOOD
WONDERED IF IT EVER WOULD
REALLY DIDN'T THINK IT COULD
DO IT AGAIN
I KNOW WE SHOULD

THE SUN IS UP
I'M SO FIZZY I COULD BURST
YOU WET THROUGH AND ME HEADFIRST
INTO THIS IS PERFECT
IT'S ALL I EVER WANTED
OW! IT FEELS SO BIG IT ALMOST HURTS

NEVER GUESSED IT GOT THIS GOOD
WONDERED IF IT EVER WOULD
REALLY DIDN'T THINK IT COULD
DO IT SOME MORE
I KNOW WE SHOULD

SAY IT WILL ALWAYS BE LIKE THIS
THE TWO OF US TOGETHER
IT WILL ALWAYS BE LIKE THIS
FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER...

NEVER GUESSED IT GOT THIS GOOD
WONDERED IF IT EVER WOULD
REALLY DIDN'T THINK IT COULD
DO IT ALL THE TIME
I KNOW THAT WE SHOULD		  
     
 
song three of megamix   
01:11pm 25/01/2004
  By starlight I'll kiss you
And promise to be your one and only
I'll make you feel happy
And leave you to be lost in mine
And where will we go, what will we do?
Soon said I, will know
Dead eyes, are you just like me?
Cause her eyes were as vacant as the seas
Dead eyes, are you just like me?
And all along, we knew we'd carry on
Just to belong
By starlight I know you
As lovely as a wish granted true
My life has been empty, my life has been untrue
And does she really know, who I really am?
Does she really know me at last
Dead eyes, are you just like me?		  
     
 
song two of the megamix   
12:21pm 24/01/2004
  Beautiful, you're beautiful, as beautiful as the sun
Wonderful, you're wonderful, as wonderful as they come
And I can't help but feel attached
To the feelings I can't even match
With my face pressed up to the glass, wanting you
Beautiful, you're beautiful, as beautiful as the sky
Wonderful, it's wonderful, to know that you're just like I
And I'm sure you know me well, as I'm sure you don't
But you just can't tell
Who'll you love and who you won't
And I love you, as you love me
So let the clouds roll by your face
We'll let the world spin on up to another place
We'll climb the tallest tree above it all
To look down on you and me and them
And I'm sure you know me well, as I'm sure you don't
But you just can't tell, who'll you love and who you won't
Don't let your life wrap up around you
Don't forget to call, whenever
I'll be here waiting just waiting for you
I'll be under your stars forever
Neither here nor there just right beside you
I'll be under your stars forever
Neither here nor there just right beside you		  
     
 
song one of the megamix   
11:42pm 23/01/2004
  So I look in your direction
but you pay me no attention do you
I know you don't listen to me
Cause you say you see straight through me don't you

But on and on, from the moment I wake
till the moment I sleep
I'll be there by your side
just you try and stop me
I'll be waiting in line
just to see if you care

Did you want me to change
Well I changed for good
And I want you to know
That you'll always get your way
I wanted to say

Don't you shiver
Shiver
Sing it loud and clear
I'll always be waiting for you

So you know how much I need you
But you never even see me do you
And is this my final chance of getting you

But on and on, from the moment I wake
'Till the moment I sleep
I'll be there by your side
Just you try and stop me
I'll be waiting in line
Just to see if you care

Did you want me to change
Well I changed for good
And I want you to know
That you'll always get your way
I wanted to say

Don't you shiver
Don't you shiver
Sing it loud and clear
I'll always be waiting for you

Yeah I'll always be waiting for you
Yeah I'll always be waiting for you
Yeah I'll always be waiting for you
For you
I will always be waiting

And it's you I see
But you don't see me
And it's you I hear
So loud and clear
I sing it loud and clear
And I'll always be waiting for you

So I look in your direction
But you pay me no attention
And you know how much I need you
But you never even see me		  
     
 
i love you   
05:20pm 23/01/2004
  i want everyone to know that i do love my girlfriend
sometimes i act like i dont but i really do
shes beautiful and smart and loving and too good for me
i really lucked out on this one
but its too late
i fucked it up
and i want everyone to know that my three sizes too small black heart belongs to her
and i would never touch or think about another girl that way
shes all i need and all i want		  
     Read 1 - Post
 
 
iamthevoice
 
 
skip  
 
 

Advertisement